The Eye of Sauron Stares out from Dolittle's Pants... OR... How do you solve a problem like Eliza?

Well all sharpies are down and all votes are in! This show may be the most insane adventure ever. Not because of the designer per say, but because of the entire lack of communication between the original staff.

So what do I mean? Let's role back the clock to 2000 and give you a little theater tid bit....

In 2000 the first production of this version of My Fair Lady was produced at Trinity Rep Theater, Rhode Island. Now moving forward in time to 2002 the show was remounted at Milwaukee Rep. Now those unfamiliar with the theater world maybe a bit lost... as it seems so was the original team. A remount is basically a show in a box. One only needs to unpack the old stage pieces, the old costume pieces and the old props refurbish them if needed and throw them on stage again. Ba-da-bing, Ba-da-boom! Showtime!...

or not...

Let's keep moving forward... 2006 A co-production between Actor's Theater or Louisville and Cleveland Playhouse was suppose to be yet another remount. Ok by this time, I get it, the set has been done before and the clothes are worn out so you change a few things here and there. It'll be fine...

or not...

Now back to the present. 2008! Virginia Stage Company! We... (used in a collective sense, not me myself personally, but the "we" that is VSC) We worked with this Director last year she's great, We love her, We want her to do her production of My Fair Lady. Please... She Agrees! Everything's GREAT!!!

Except...

The designers are bored and want this to pay out more, the director doesn't really want or have time to do it, Trinity won't lend us any of their costumes because they are moving their stock and they don't really want to be bothered... Sooo We get back to that ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom thing... and instead it's more like... KA-BOOM!!!

BUT!!! Let's talk about absurdity... (Because we haven't had enough of that really!) Our lastest upset had to do with a 300 dollar top hat. Not just any 300 dollar top hat, but a custom made, XL, collapsable top hat that we got for Mr. Dolittle in his "Get Me to the Church" number. "D" our costume designer swears up and down to the shop manager that this MUST be a collapsable hat. "It's Part of the Act!" she says. Well the new actor that plays Dolittle is a large guy standing well over 6 feet and with a head that interestingly enough is in proportion. Big body, Big Head. So the way these collaspable top hats are made the device takes up a lot of space. And makes the hat VERY NARROW!!! So 300 dollar hat... is a no fit! (enter foul language here) And to top it all off the Choreographer's response is a very gruff. Why the hell do you need a collaspable hat???

Boys and Girls we call this ---> Lack of Comunication and a unwillingness to admit you don't acutally know! Thanks "D"!

So what does this have to do with the Eye of Sauron? Well other then the pure evil in these costumes. The costume staff is so afraid of the next screw up that none of use are willing to cut away excess fabric in our projects in fear that something will change and that fabric will be crucial. So Dolittle has a wad of fabric in his crotch.

And Eliza? Well Eliza's dress is made of a quilted like fabric that more or less looks like a Brawney paper towel... Except Pink... Like Pepto Pink... and it feels like a paper towel. Top it off with a stretch in EVERY direction and your set for a sewing nightmare.

But Never Fear!! It has left me singing!

How do you solve a problem like Eliza?
How do make an Ascot dress from Brawney?
How do you make an Ascot dress for ELIZA???
May-be I should have just used BOUNTY!!!

Photos: Dolittle's pants and Eliza's dress.